you've got to chew it
before you can digest it
do not try to skip this. do not not chew it.
I am learning small things every day.
The key is being able to not be too exhausted, too distracted, too frustrated, too "thinking-too-much", so that I may actually realize what it is that I am learning. So that I may see it. So that I may feel it. So that, what my body knows, can become mine, despite the beliefs to the contrary that constantly arise out of frustration and difficulties.
So far, I've been able to muster the focus I need before and during the small performances: there's a presence, an urgency that helps this process, of course.
Not so much during rehearsals, which are often still a big mess of movement, frustration, soreness and doubts. Of course, were I to find the focus, most of the above would immediately vanish. And of course, if I were able to let go of the above, however slightly, the focus would more easily appear.
There is also plenty to be said about precision: the need for it, my need for it, and my overall lack thereof.
Also on the very full table laid out for this embodied feast:
- stop thinking so much
- stop worrying about others
- stop worrying about yourself. you CAN do it. you are DOING it.
- be a little nicer
- be a little wiser
- be a little smarter, and get the rest you need
